Oh gum…why do I hate thee?

Let me count the ways…….

1. ewwwwwww

2. Okay I’ll be more specific. ewwwwww…..gross

3. I don’t want to watch cows. I want to look at humans. Without being reminded of cows.

4. Students practicing pronunciation spit it out by mistake. ewwww

5. What’s that horrible noise? Oh. People are chewing gum. What’s up with not chewing with your mouth closed?

6. Smelly….ewwwww

7. I feel a visceral disdain for the person chewing gum. As soon as they spit it out I’m happy again (I know, crazy but true).

8. On my favorite show, NUMB3RS, the character Don Epps chews gum a lot. I want to slap him.

I don’t know why gum bothers me so much. I didn’t like it even as a kid. Am I in the 1% of the population of the US that feels this way? Do the other 99% of people chew gum and enjoy it? That’s okay…..I don’t mind being unique.


About Barb Knowles

The things that are important to me are family, friends, teaching, writing, languages and using my sense of humor to navigate this crazy world. Please join me on this blogging adventure...
This entry was posted in humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Oh gum…why do I hate thee?

  1. mistermuse says:

    It’s probably the teacher in you that hates gum. My wife’s a retired teacher and doesn’t like it either. But, as habits go, it’s healthier than smoking, so I say chew on that (ha ha)! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am a total gum person. I’m in people’s faces all day and I have a fear of bad breath.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have not seen a person chewing gum in literally decades. I thought it went out of vogue, I’m surprised it’s still on the shelves.


    • To say that every student (in our school, not just in my classroom) tries/wants to chew gum every day, every period is not an exaggeration. And many teachers do. I hate it and the students think I’m mean and try to sneak it. It reminds me of when my own kids were little and I’d try to sneak a piece of candy or something. They’d look at me and I’d try not to move my mouth. Humans=happiness, cows=anger


  4. Jason Preater says:

    Little black blobs on the pavement: how much does that cost to clean up?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Rob says:

    I only chew gum briefly. Usually to clear the taste of coffee from my mouth. Nothing like stale coffee in the mouth to give one the feeling they just awoke from a sloppy embalming. Now, phones have replaced gum. I’d prefer they chew then view. Oftentimes it seems they do both.

    When I was in fifth grade we had a maniacal teacher who hated gum with a passion. I suspect back in his youth before he participated in Kristallnacht he was forced to stand in front of a class with a wad of gum on his nose. If he saw you chewing he would bring the entire school to a halt to embarrass you. I learned this the hard way. I had a piece of Bazooka and after lunch thought I would have a chew during recess. Forgot to get rid of it when we went back inside.

    Now, mind you, our recess in Brooklyn was akin to a recess in Sing Sing: An enclosed small cement “yard” in the fold of our pre-war u-shaped building. Watched over by angry tired teachers who started their careers in the 1940s. Well, Mr. Armour (yes that was his name) who taught 5-1, the smarties, I was in 5-2, the smart but not snooty class), saw me working the gum and called me out. He would make you come into his class and stand there while he pointed out the evils of gum and pointing out how I disregarded rules and no doubt had serious character flaws. On those points he was fairly accurate. He would also ask if you had enough gum for everyone, which of course no one ever did, and then point out how selfish you must be. I did not like being embarrassed. A revenge was plotted. And my teacher, Mrs. Markowitz, who loved me and despised Herr Armour, surprisingly went along with my plan. She bought the box of Bazooka I was to use.

    I waited two weeks and on D-Day I took a piece of gum and chewed like Sea Biscuit munching oats after running at Santa Anita. Mr. Armour saw and of course called me out. The scene played out as expected with him marching me before his class for his standard dressing down. What he did not know was that I had filled my jacket pockets with the gum supplied by Mrs. Markowitz. I just waited for the key phrase “Do you have enough gum for everybody?” I said “Yes I do” and emptied my pockets much to his class’ riotous response. It was my only trip to the principal’s office who seemed to appreciate my devious plan. Ms. Markowitz came to my rescue and, wink wink, scolded me. A note was sent home but my older brother threw it down the sewer which seemed a real good way to do away with problems. Mr. Armour retired before the next school year. I’m sure the reasons were unrelated to me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s