When my middle daughter was 3, she went through a phase of ingesting anything that had a slight resemblance to food. She wouldn’t eat leaves or anything like that, but here’s an example:
Once upon a time, I left my 3 kids with my ex-husband to go grocery shopping. When I got home, he was walking down the driveway to meet me. Not a good sign.
Me: What happened??
Ex: Don’t get mad.
Me: WHAT HAPPENED??
Daughter walking down the driveway in her white coat with face and coat covered in black gunk: Mommy look!! Cookies!!
Me: THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT FROM COOKIES!
Me Again: What is this??!!
Ex: Well, I was working on the snow blower and had just lubed it.
Ex: Then I worked on the car.
Ex: Then I turned around and she was eating the oil/grease from the snow blower.
Me: OMG did you call the doctor?
Me: (silently…did you clean her face?)
So I called the doctor about my happily-eating daughter and was told that whatever it was that was on the snow blower worked the same on little girls as on snow blowers. Hence a bad few weeks in our household with many trips to the bathroom.
And this was just the first of many eating-dangerous-things moments. And many calls to Poison Control.
You have to understand that I’m very hands-on with my kids/grandkids. I don’t quite hover like an hawk, but it’s close. My middle one plotted and waited for the moment to ingest. Like Spiderman scaling walls in 5 seconds to reach dish-washing soap that was suspended from the ceiling.
Then one day, a year or so later and post-divorce (but not because of this), I let her out of the car and into the condo, which was 5 steps from my car. I put a couple of grocery bags on the table, and went out for a couple of more bags. In that nanosecond, she opened an Avon box of air freshener sticks and sucked all the “juice” from two of them. I turned around with the groceries and was hit in the face with the cloying smell of oranges. Frantic call to Poison Control….
Me: I need help!
Poison Control: Oh hello Ms. So and So. What did your daughter do now?
Me: Omg….YOU RECOGNIZE MY VOICE!
And on a curious, helpful note, I found out that at that time, almost all Avon products were nontoxic. Phew.