When my middle daughter was 3, she went through a phase of ingesting anything that had a slight resemblance to food. She wouldn’t eat leaves or anything like that, but here’s an example:
Once upon a time, I left my 3 kids with my ex-husband to go grocery shopping. When I got home, he was walking down the driveway to meet me. Not a good sign.
Me: What happened??
Ex: Don’t get mad.
Me: WHAT HAPPENED??
Daughter walking down the driveway in her white coat with face and coat covered in black gunk: Mommy look!! Cookies!!
Me: THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT FROM COOKIES!
Me Again: What is this??!!
Ex: Well, I was working on the snow blower and had just lubed it.
Ex: Then I worked on the car.
Ex: Then I turned around and she was eating the oil/grease from the snow blower.
Me: OMG did you call the doctor?
Me: (silently…did you clean her face?)
So I called the doctor about my happily-eating daughter and was told that whatever it was that was on the snow blower worked the same on little girls as on snow blowers. Hence a bad few weeks in our household with many trips to the bathroom.
And this was just the first of many eating-dangerous-things moments. And many calls to Poison Control.
You have to understand that I’m very hands-on with my kids/grandkids. I don’t quite hover like an hawk, but it’s close. My middle one plotted and waited for the moment to ingest. Like Spiderman scaling walls in 5 seconds to reach dish-washing soap that was suspended from the ceiling.
Then one day, a year or so later and post-divorce (but not because of this), I let her out of the car and into the condo, which was 5 steps from my car. I put a couple of grocery bags on the table, and went out for a couple of more bags. In that nanosecond, she opened an Avon box of air freshener sticks and sucked all the “juice” from two of them. I turned around with the groceries and was hit in the face with the cloying smell of oranges. Frantic call to Poison Control….
Me: I need help!
Poison Control: Oh hello Ms. So and So. What did your daughter do now?
Me: Omg….YOU RECOGNIZE MY VOICE!
And on a curious, helpful note, I found out that at that time, almost all Avon products were nontoxic. Phew.
saneteachers 
This is funny to me because I often wish I could have one of those kids who eat everything. My kid is so picky! I never thought about the downside to kids who eat everything so thanks for sharing! Lol
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She was actually fairly picky where real food was concerned. I think she thought everything else would be like dessert. My luck.
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That seems a little scary to have a kid that curious. I’ll bet you stored lots of things on the top shelves of your cupboards.
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And in the moat, submerged under lock and key.
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There hasn’t been a parent created that wishes they didn’t turn their back for those few seconds. But your daughter seems to have turned this into an art form.😊
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Yes, I blame any grey hairs on this behavior.
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You know, I feel horribly awkward enough when the cashier at the fast food place recognizes me, and then I have to never go back there again. I don’t know what I’d do for a poison-control recognition.
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I was definitely horrified.
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Hilarious post! I hope your daughter’s weaned herself off these inedible treats, both poisonous and nonpoisonous. My dad used to work for Avon (but not as an Avon lady); at his going-away party his co-workers presented him with his own image in a bust made of soap! I hope they weren’t trying to tell him something about his hygiene. He’s always seemed pretty clean to me. Thanks a lot for following my blog. I’ve decided to follow yours, too!
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Yay for following my blog! Yes she finally stopped eating things that weren’t actually desserts. And then she found out meat came from animals and not the grocery store. So that ended that. So funny about the soap statue! What did he do with it?
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