Following up on my I-can’t-believe-that-my-neck-has-fallen post, another horror thing happened. I have never, nor do I ever plan to, have face lifts, plastic surgery or anything like that. One, I’m on a blood thinner, so only a moron would get vanity surgery and risk bleeding to death. Two, the upkeep seems terrible. Three, I want to grow older gracefully.
Whaaaaaaaaaa????????? I don’t mind each birthday, because face it, the alternative isn’t acceptable. I’m also very comfortable and happy with the woman I have become. But I don’t want to LOOK older. I actually don’t want to look much younger, either. But I want people to THINK that I’m younger than I am. I want someone to say “Wow, I thought you were 50” and I want to believe them.
That being said, I’m not averse to finding a face cream that costs less than 1,000 kazillion dollars that will make me feel like I look younger. I happen to have nice skin, so it may be silly to obsess over it. I use day and night creams and think they are great, but I refuse to pay a lot of money for a different product that probably won’t work anyway.
My oldest daughter recently became an Avon lady. I like a lot of their products and do like their day and night creams, so I shopped on her website (not to worry, I would support her anyway because I love her and think what she’s doing is great). I found the section for lotions that make you feel like you look younger. And HORROR NIGHTMARE OMG they sell a cream that helps reduce your jowls. JOWLS!! Never in my worst nightmares did I think I had jowls. Or might at some point in my life have jowls. Are they the same as fallen neck syndrome? Or are they the thing that those fat-faced dogs have??? I ran to the mirror. Look left, look right. No jowls. But I did see my mother looking back at me.
I did not buy jowl cream. But I did find a lot of other lotions and eyeliner and nail polish. Good products, great salesperson.
What does this have to do with books? Unless I have an urge to write a horror story about my fear of jowls, it has nothing to do with books. But I vowed to end each blog with something about a book that I am enjoying or not enjoying, for that matter. I usually forget, but I’m remembering now. The book that I’m loving, loving, loving is Winds of Winter by George R.R. Martin. No, that was a dream because NOW IT WON’T BE OUT UNTIL 2016! What’s up with that?
Because I also have gnat-attention-span syndrome, I can’t remember what I was going to write when I put blogging in the title. Ridiculous, because that was only like 15 minutes ago. But it did just occur to me that I like to write and hope that people realize that I try to use humor so don’t take me literally. And I never want to offend anyone. So if someone reading this has jowls, I do not mean to be offensive. I’m just insecure. And if it makes you feel better, most people hate grey hair and I started going grey in high school.
p.s. I love blogging I hate editing.