Following up on my I-can’t-believe-that-my-neck-has-fallen post, another horror thing happened. I have never, nor do I ever plan to, have face lifts, plastic surgery or anything like that. One, I’m on a blood thinner, so only a moron would get vanity surgery and risk bleeding to death. Two, the upkeep seems terrible. Three, I want to grow older gracefully.
Whaaaaaaaaaa????????? I don’t mind each birthday, because face it, the alternative isn’t acceptable. I’m also very comfortable and happy with the woman I have become. But I don’t want to LOOK older. I actually don’t want to look much younger, either. But I want people to THINK that I’m younger than I am. I want someone to say “Wow, I thought you were 50” and I want to believe them.
That being said, I’m not averse to finding a face cream that costs less than 1,000 kazillion dollars that will make me feel like I look younger. I happen to have nice skin, so it may be silly to obsess over it. I use day and night creams and think they are great, but I refuse to pay a lot of money for a different product that probably won’t work anyway.
My oldest daughter recently became an Avon lady. I like a lot of their products and do like their day and night creams, so I shopped on her website (not to worry, I would support her anyway because I love her and think what she’s doing is great). I found the section for lotions that make you feel like you look younger. And HORROR NIGHTMARE OMG they sell a cream that helps reduce your jowls. JOWLS!! Never in my worst nightmares did I think I had jowls. Or might at some point in my life have jowls. Are they the same as fallen neck syndrome? Or are they the thing that those fat-faced dogs have??? I ran to the mirror. Look left, look right. No jowls. But I did see my mother looking back at me.
I did not buy jowl cream. But I did find a lot of other lotions and eyeliner and nail polish. Good products, great salesperson.
What does this have to do with books? Unless I have an urge to write a horror story about my fear of jowls, it has nothing to do with books. But I vowed to end each blog with something about a book that I am enjoying or not enjoying, for that matter. I usually forget, but I’m remembering now. The book that I’m loving, loving, loving is Winds of Winter by George R.R. Martin. No, that was a dream because NOW IT WON’T BE OUT UNTIL 2016! What’s up with that?
Because I also have gnat-attention-span syndrome, I can’t remember what I was going to write when I put blogging in the title. Ridiculous, because that was only like 15 minutes ago. But it did just occur to me that I like to write and hope that people realize that I try to use humor so don’t take me literally. And I never want to offend anyone. So if someone reading this has jowls, I do not mean to be offensive. I’m just insecure. And if it makes you feel better, most people hate grey hair and I started going grey in high school.
p.s. I love blogging I hate editing.
saneteachers 
Fun post! I don’t have jowls (had to look it up to find out what it means!!!)… There seems to be a creme out there for everything ;-). I’m planning on ageing gracefully, so no plastic surgery for me in my future.
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Are jowls like when your cheeks fall instead of or in addition to your neck? That’s what I’m thinking. I didn’t actually look it up. But I was stunned when I saw the cream and then thought omg do I have them? Thanks for commenting.
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Yes, that’s it 🙂
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I obsess over these same things. Only, I’m just a little over 30. I never used to be this vain and now I’m all like, “Do I LOOK like I’m 40? What do I DOOOOO???” just because some stupid kindergartener guessed I was that old… *sigh* Clearly, I need to get over myself.
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I worked for a non-profit years ago for developmentally disabled adults. When I was about your age one of the men called me Grandma. And he didn’t say it lovingly. I was horrified and my friend told me to get a grip lol. Be happy with ourselves is the way to be.
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I wonder what a cream actually does to your epidermal layers, if it’s able to make jowls disappear. That might be scarier than having jowls, don’t you think?
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haha I didn’t think of that.
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Fun blog! We all will get older,if we’re l ucky. I agree… the main objective is to just get there as gracefully as possible. Maybe they’ll create a “Be the Best You can Be” creme! Lol!
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And make it inexpensive! Thanks for following and commenting!
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Everyone says I look exactly the same as I did when I was 3 years old. My Mom says I’ve looked the same since I was 3 months old. Almost 24 years and I haven’t aged a bit apparently!
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Well, you’re only 24ish. My grandson saw a picture of me when I was 7 years old and said “You have the same face!” I replied, yes, because it’s still me….just a different version of me 🙂
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What I normally get is shock from friends. As in “how do you look exactly the same?” I guess it’s because they look nothing like they did when they were younger. I guess we’re special!
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I would submit that you and I are special anyway. Maybe it’s because we agree on so many things, except the Oxford comma and other important things lol.
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How do you feel about slow walkers? I just wrote a post about them.
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I looked for a new post from you last night. I’m very short but come from a very tall family (my brothers say I’m a genetic throwback). So I’m used to walking fast. I plow through kids in the hallway at school. My son says that he is the fastest walker in the city. He maintains that no one has ever passed him. So I want to scream at slow walkers if I ever have to get anywhere. Now were I to walk through a meadow admiring the countryside and ignoring the mosquitoes, slow walking wouldn’t be so bad.
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hahahah you just summed up my entire post!
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haha then I can write a quick comment about how prescient I am.
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In Canada, we call that a psychic! Anyways, I’m off to sleep.
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psychic…..I was impressing you with my vocabulary. And I as wondering why you were up so early. I just remembered your age……good night lol.
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I normally go to sleep earlier, but I only write good posts during the middle of the night.
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Which is the morning in my world.
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And I thought that for sure you would comment about Alaska-stealing.
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Nobody would leave jowl cream sitting out on their counter. That stuff needs some PR
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That’s for sure.
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