Jowls, books and blogging…..

Following up on my I-can’t-believe-that-my-neck-has-fallen post, another horror thing happened.  I have never, nor do I ever plan to, have face lifts, plastic surgery or anything like that.  One, I’m on a blood thinner, so only a moron would get vanity surgery and risk bleeding to death.  Two, the upkeep seems terrible.  Three, I want to grow older gracefully.

Whaaaaaaaaaa?????????  I don’t mind each birthday, because face it, the alternative isn’t acceptable.  I’m also very comfortable and happy with the woman I have become.  But I don’t want to LOOK older.  I actually don’t want to look much younger, either.  But I want people to THINK that I’m younger than I am.  I want someone to say “Wow, I thought you were 50” and I want to believe them.

That being said, I’m not averse to finding a face cream that costs less than 1,000 kazillion dollars that will make me feel like I look younger.  I happen to have nice skin, so it may be silly to obsess over it.  I use day and night creams and think they are great, but I refuse to pay a lot of money for a different product that probably won’t work anyway.

My oldest daughter recently became an Avon lady.  I like a lot of their products and do like their day and night creams, so I shopped on her website (not to worry, I would support her anyway because I love her and think what she’s doing is great).  I found the section for lotions that make you feel like you look younger.  And HORROR NIGHTMARE OMG they sell a cream that helps reduce your jowls.  JOWLS!!  Never in my worst nightmares did I think I had jowls.  Or might at some point in my life have jowls.  Are they the same as fallen neck syndrome?  Or are they the thing that those fat-faced dogs have???   I ran to the mirror.  Look left, look right.  No jowls.  But I did see my mother looking back at me.

I did not buy jowl cream.  But I did find a lot of other lotions and eyeliner and nail polish.  Good products, great salesperson.

What does this have to do with books?  Unless I have an urge to write a horror story about my fear of jowls, it has nothing to do with books.  But I vowed to end each blog with something about a book that I am enjoying or not enjoying, for that matter.  I usually forget, but I’m remembering now.  The book that I’m loving, loving, loving is Winds of Winter by George R.R. Martin.  No, that was a dream because NOW IT WON’T BE OUT UNTIL 2016!  What’s up with that?

Because I also have gnat-attention-span syndrome, I can’t remember what I was going to write when I put blogging in the title.  Ridiculous, because that was only like 15 minutes ago.  But it did just occur to me that I like to write and hope that people realize that I try to use humor so don’t take me literally.  And I never want to offend anyone.  So if someone reading this has jowls, I do not mean to be offensive.  I’m just insecure.  And if it makes you feel better, most people hate grey hair and I started going grey in high school.

p.s. I love blogging I hate editing.

About Barb Knowles

The things that are important to me are family, friends, teaching, writing, languages and using my sense of humor to navigate this crazy world. Please join me on this blogging adventure...
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24 Responses to Jowls, books and blogging…..

  1. amommasview says:

    Fun post! I don’t have jowls (had to look it up to find out what it means!!!)… There seems to be a creme out there for everything ;-). I’m planning on ageing gracefully, so no plastic surgery for me in my future.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I obsess over these same things. Only, I’m just a little over 30. I never used to be this vain and now I’m all like, “Do I LOOK like I’m 40? What do I DOOOOO???” just because some stupid kindergartener guessed I was that old… *sigh* Clearly, I need to get over myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      I worked for a non-profit years ago for developmentally disabled adults. When I was about your age one of the men called me Grandma. And he didn’t say it lovingly. I was horrified and my friend told me to get a grip lol. Be happy with ourselves is the way to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Glazed says:

    I wonder what a cream actually does to your epidermal layers, if it’s able to make jowls disappear. That might be scarier than having jowls, don’t you think?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. snowbaby08 says:

    Fun blog! We all will get older,if we’re l ucky. I agree… the main objective is to just get there as gracefully as possible. Maybe they’ll create a “Be the Best You can Be” creme! Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Paul says:

    Everyone says I look exactly the same as I did when I was 3 years old. My Mom says I’ve looked the same since I was 3 months old. Almost 24 years and I haven’t aged a bit apparently!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. lbeth1950 says:

    Nobody would leave jowl cream sitting out on their counter. That stuff needs some PR

    Liked by 1 person

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