Because I gave birth to you……

This one can only be brought out for the biggies.  For the request to end all requests.  For the begging and pleading that can never be asked again.  You can only give once, as your reason for asking such a hugely important, life altering request, that your child has to comply….because you gave birth to them.

Unless you are me.  I remember the first time I said it.  I was near death from pneumonia and was being lovingly tended to by my child….or I couldn’t reach my coffee.  I can’t remember which.  The conversation went something like this…

Me:  Can you please blah blah blah blah?

Child:  No, Mom, not now.

Me:  Pleeeeeeeeeease?

Child:  Haha very funny, but no.

Me:  This isn’t funny.  I asked you to do it, now do it.

Child:  Oh for heaven’s sake, Mom, do it yourself!

Me:  But I gave birth to you.

Child:  *sigh* That is NOT fair.

Me:  Thank you.

You think I went to THAT well again?  Yes.  Yes I did.  I’m pretty sure I used it on a different kid.  And, to be honest, they weren’t exactly small when I pulled out the use-it-once-and-never-use-it-again-line.  Probably younger than 20.  Probably.  But I do remember trying it a second time.  I got an answer like “Seriously? *sigh* oh all right.”

And then again (big mistake here….I tried it with the same kid; so hard to keep track) “Really???? Mom, c’mon.  Oh all right” *sigh* *eye rolling.*

Now, when I ask for a favor, a request, a please-hand-me-something, and get the pathetic look on my face, my children say “ABSOLUTELY NOT, I DON’T CARE THAT YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME I’M NOT HANDING YOU YOUR COFFEE!  Oh, okay.” *sigh*

And for all of our craziness and our funny interactions, I will love my kids forever.

Because I gave birth to them.

p.s.  This baby picture is from my baptism.  My cousin calls it my Baby Count Dracula picture.  My children should have realized what was in store for them…..because I gave birth to them.


About Barb Knowles

The things that are important to me are family, friends, teaching, writing, languages and using my sense of humor to navigate this crazy world. Please join me on this blogging adventure...
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25 Responses to Because I gave birth to you……

  1. Paul says:

    Sounds like your baptism was as eventful as mine! Apparently I drank so much milk that day, that when it was my turn to be baptized I let out a huge burp and the entire church heard me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wonder, what would your response be to “I didn’t ask to be born”?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. George says:

    I think if you have a card you need to play it, whenever and wherever you can. You just need to keep track of who you played it with…:)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Baby Count Dracula” Hahaha. Now that is funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Almost Iowa says:

    As a father, life denied me access to that line – so I tried the next best line – only once.

    Me: Listen up, I wiped your little bottom for two years.

    My Loving Child: Yeah old man, and I will probably have to wipe yours for longer than that.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Annie Emmy Evans says:

    Ha! My mother does this same thing to me all the time. You people are evil.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hilarious! You could make a compilation of parents’ come-back remarks based on your experience when kids retort. You know..Just for inspiration I can use on my kids!!! 😉 Sometimes, I run out of things to take away from them…Grrrr!

    Liked by 1 person

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