Mother’s Day is a special day for many people, and a day that a lot of mothers look forward to and love. But I happen not to be one of them. I hate Mother’s Day. It’s one of the worst days of the year for me. Let me start out with a caveat. I have 4 children, 1 stepchild and 3 grandchildren. I love all of them. But Mother’s Day is not a cause for celebration for me. Nor for many women.
I work with a teacher who never had children. I don’t know why, and, of course, would never ask. We were in the main office at school the Friday before Mother’s Day years ago. Someone chipper came in saying “Happy Mother’s Day everyone!” The teacher stopped cold and turned and said “I’m not a mother. So don’t wish me a Happy Mother’s Day.” The chipper person, probably trying to salvage the situation, said something to the effect that the teacher was a mother to all of her students. Her reply was “Hardly.” She privately told me that this day is awful for her. She usually just says thank you, as I do, but she said sometimes she erupts.
So that is one category of women who don’t like Mother’s Day.
1. They aren’t mothers. We don’t always know why or if they wanted to be.
2. Women who definitely wanted to be mothers but are unable to be. For some, this day is difficult.
3. Women who don’t like their mothers.
Expanding on #3 for a moment, a friend of mine used to agonize over buying a Mother’s Day card for her mother. She didn’t like her mother. They had never gotten along. But there is no category in the Hallmark store for “Mother’s Day Cards for Unliked Mothers.” So she would look and look for a card that had good wishes without saying mushy things that would have made my friend gag, and would be untrue. Yet you can’t show up on Mother’s Day without a card.
4. And women like me.
My second to oldest daughter died as a baby. So Mother’s Day is never a happy day for me. My other children know this and whether they accept my reasons or not, they understand them. I don’t want to spend Mother’s Day with my family. Mother’s Day is a day that, according to our society’s customs, I should be pampered and complimented and given flowers or taken out to dinner by my children. But one of my children is missing. So Mother’s Day for me, and for every mother I know that has lost a child, is a day almost of horror.
Now I can’t explain to my grandchildren that I’m upset because of what happened to their aunt a generation ago. They are young and very excited to do Mother’s Day things with my daughters and are very excited to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. I can get through almost any kind of a day and I welcome their wishes and their excited messages.
Obviously, this is my story and my opinion. Some of my readers may disagree with me or think I’m too harsh. But I believe that Mother’s Day, as a separate day of the year, shouldn’t exist. We should cherish our mothers, and be cherished by our mothers, every day. This would make mothers and children happy. But it’s a made-up holiday that doesn’t bring joy to everyone.
This is why Mother’s Day shouldn’t count.