I’m not making fun of people who have strokes, TIAs or any other form of cardiovascular or neurological events. My mother was invalided for years and years from serious strokes.
But mine happened to be hilarious.
I was hospitalized for my 4th or 5th TIA/mini-stroke on Monday. I felt all my usual emotions. Am I making a big deal over nothing? Should I ask for a priest? Is whatever happened to me all done and won’t rear its ugly head for another couple of years? Not to mention that I felt guilty because my co-workers went ballistic and made me promise to go to the hospital and never drive to work like that again.
What I didn’t expect was to have probably the funniest moment in my life in the hospital.
Backstory: I was admitted to the hospital for a dizzy spell that caused gait problems which caused me to careen into the bedroom wall and bounce off that into the bureau, have slurred speech, then feel a little better and drive to work. That’s not the funny part.
I felt fine-ish after being there all day and the dizziness was gone. But due to that symptom, I was not allowed to get out of bed and walk without assistance.
At that point, 12 hours later, walking was not my issue. I understand the reason for the rules, but I knew that I could walk just fine. Who wouldn’t feel better if they were lying in bed all day? Who would notice if I went to the bathroom? It was like 4 feet away.
I put on the little socks they give you with the suction cups on the bottom. The sides of the bed were up so I scooted down the bed, swung my legs over the side and got up.
THE BED WAS ATTACHED TO AN ALARM.
As I stood up, a light over the bed blazed on and off like a strobe light and an alarm screeched so loudly that it caused the staff running down the hall to experience the Doppler effect. It scared the crap out of me and I quickly and guiltily plopped back down.
I immediately started texting all of my friends. The funniest moment in my life happened when I had a stroke.