2 Peas In An ADHD Pod

The problem, the pediatrician said to me, is that we have to rely on ADHD parents to help their ADHD child.  Oh.

I just stared at the doctor.  I almost said “Can we rely on someone else?”  But instead I said “I can’t find my wallet.”

My son and I have so much in common.  We like the same books, have the same sense of humor, like almost all the same shows, have the same taste in music.  And we both have ADHD.  We “get” each other.

Don’t worry….this is not going to be what my husband calls “psychobabble.”

Attention Deficit issues are manifested differently in boys and girls, plus everybody is different anyway.  It didn’t occur to me that we both had a…… condition? issues? lovable personality quirks?…..until that pediatric appointment.

I definitely have the attention span of a gnat and I’ve written about it here before.  But so does my son.  And this inherited streak weaves in and out of our relationship in marvelous ways.

When Steve was in 4th grade, he had a teacher who was humor deprived somewhat serious for an elementary school teacher.  One day she called me up, and was very irate, to tell me that my son had gotten up in the middle of class and conducted a survey.  He walked up to each student and asked them their middle names and checked to see how many of their middle names corresponded with his cousins’ first names. When his teacher told me the story, I burst out laughing.  angry-teacher-meme

I know, I know, wrong reaction.  I’m a teacher, for heaven’s sake.  I quickly agreed with her that no it really wasn’t funny and that I shouldn’t have laughed. I commiserated with her that it must have been very disruptive and annoying, but secretly I did think it was funny.  Yet it was also a big clue that he was having trouble focusing.

When he was in 6th grade, I happily went to back-to-school night.  I knew my son liked school, had friends, I knew how smart he is although his grades didn’t always reflect that (visions of the 4th grade survey still darted around in my head).  The homeroom teacher greeted us at the classroom door and efficiently handed each parent a short stack of papers, with the PTA sign-up form on top.  We could sit anywhere, so I sat next to the mother of one of his classmates with whom I was friendly.  We started chatting and the teacher said to me “Excuse me, but we need to get started now.”  My first thought was please, God, make sure I never sound like that.  I quickly squelched it and realized that everyone was filling out the PTA form.

Glancing at my little pile of papers, I saw that the PTA form had disappeared.  I looked through the papers, looked under the desk, around the desk, not being aware that the teacher was speaking.  Then I turned to the parents seated around me and asked them if they had seen my PTA form.  The teacher stopped talking.  That’s when I realized that there was complete silence in the room.  His teacher said to me “Are you Stephen’s mom?”

This night was not over, however.  Just in case any of you are worrying on my behalf, she coughed up another form and I did successfully join the PTA.  We heard about all the classes, art and music periods, class rules, etc. Then we wrote cute little letters to our kids. Their desks had their names on them and they had left their parents a cute something and left it in their desks for us.

Good God.

His looked like a bomb went off inside it.  Papers shoved in there, food, crumpled I-don’t-know-whats.  I looked around and everyone else had perfect little Stepford Wives desks.  I shoveled through it all and found his letter and left mine for him.  if-a-cluttered-desk-einstein-meme

We are now taking a short break so all of my co-workers can spit their coffee out while reading this because my desk at work is a nightmare both inside and out.

 

Steve and I are Little Einsteins.

 

Because where there is a will, there is a way, I learned some tricks to help Steve, which also helped me.  I labeled bureau drawers, I put a small basket on the kitchen windowsill and 20 years later I still automatically put my keys there as soon as I walk into the house. At the doctor’s suggestion, I put a big basket right by the door so my son could empty out his book bag immediately.  You’d be surprised how many forms and notices schools send home once you get to actually see them.  It’s much easier today with everything online.

It’s very frustrating to constantly lose things, forget things, miss things and it is exceptionally irritating to family members.  As my oldest daughter said one time at a trip to the mall when I couldn’t remember where I had parked the car, “I feel like the staff member when I’m out with you guys!”

While we have the normal periodic annoyances that are present in any mother/son relationship, Steve and I always have patience with the ADHD part of each other’s personalities.  We help each other remember things, find things, and can laugh with and at each other.

steve-and-me-2015

Because we’re 2 peas in a pod.

About Barb Knowles

The things that are important to me are family, friends, teaching, writing, languages and using my sense of humor to navigate this crazy world. Please join me on this blogging adventure...
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to 2 Peas In An ADHD Pod

  1. angiewest123 says:

    I love this so much because this is 100% my story with my son too! We are 2 peas in a pod!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Perhaps if it had been a Maths teacher, she would have turned your son’s survey results into a Probability lesson!
    Hubby says I have OCD as I count a lot (goes with the territory of my job Dear), but I did like a tidy desk and work surface, with cute little In/Out/Pending trays. As a result, I can work in a confined space quite easily. Now living in one, I guess it was all part of my ‘training’.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Barb Knowles says:

    To pensitivity101: And back to the teacher, you are right that she could have made it a quick lesson on data, or graphing, or even counting. I do agree, though, that it was very disruptive and I’m sure she didn’t want to feed into the get-up-and-take-charge of the classroom behavior. He wasn’t rude about it, just that he couldn’t focus on the matter at hand. Very ADHD, and perhaps it takes someone else who is to get a kick out of it. How did you say good-bye to your things and decide which items were saved and which were let go? Although we are downsizing to a smaller place and don’t ever buy anything new unless it’s a replacement item, it definitely is not at your level.

    Like

    • I understand completely. It’s the number cruncher in me I guess.
      When we agreed to sell our house and downsize, we’d already got rid of a lot of furniture etc, and everything we kept, including my car, was stored in a 20 foot shipping container.
      Buying the boat wasn’t on the cards, and when we eventually got round to returning to Lincolnshire to sort the container out, we had to be brutal and only kept the basics, plus some personal ‘treasures’. Sadly, some things did get sent to charity by mistake, and even though all we had left filled our two cars, we had to have another sort out back here as it still didn’t fit in. We don’t buy anything now unless it’s edible or a replacement for something that has failed beyond Hubby’s repair. We have however surprised ourselves by how much we don’t need. It’s worked out OK for us actually.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow this was so beautiful to read. Wish you and your son all the happiness in the world 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    “We help each other remember things, find things, and can laugh with and at each other.”–Better than anything the doctor can order!

    Wonderful article. As usual, your sense of humor in the face of difficult issues is admirable. I suspect it’s likely a sanity-saver too! If we can’t laugh at ourselves, life is a long journey indeed.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Paul says:

    Haha that middle names survey is a great comedy bit! I never understood why so many teachers lacked a sense of humour.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Ann Coleman says:

    A very entertaining story, yet pack with so much truth! I think Steve is very lucky to have you for a mother, because you understand exactly what he’s going through, and can even offer advice when needed. My mother is also ADHD (never diagnosed, but trust me on this one), and I used to get so annoyed with her until I finally recognized what was going on. But just like you and your son, she has her little systems that help her keep track of what she needs, and she makes it work. Sadly, she is often very hard on herself when she forgets things, and it’s sad to realize how negative her internal dialogue can be. I think her life might have been very different if people understood what ADHD was back when she was young.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Bea dM says:

    What a special mother-son relationship you get to enjoy! The survey and humourless teacher are funny, and thanks for the Einstein quote and picture which made my day yesterday… and also helped me actually manage to organize my desk for the first time in months, thinking you and your son, Einstein and I 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Barb Knowles says:

      Ha! Yes we do have a special bond. When you have something as annoying and frustrating as ADHD, and people actually think you do it on purpose (hellooooo why would I lose my glasses 5 times on purpose?), it is nice to be able to laugh about it with someone who understands. I’m glad you enjoyed the post 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. dawnkinster says:

    I’m glad you have each other. It must be wonderful for each of you to have someone who truly understands.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. suzywineq says:

    I love this story, and I love the Einstein quote. 🙂 My youngest son and I are similar.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. grannie33 says:

    I totally understand this craziness of ADHD. It wasn’t until my son was diagnosed that I realized I probably had it too. Now throw in OCD and you have my world. For years I thought I was just a bit crazy as the rest of my family! Nope, sane as can be with lots of letters following me around!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      Yes, I agree. I’ve commented to a few people that I should have added that we are both successful adults, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      • grannie33 says:

        LOL, I figured you both have successful lives. It’s always a plus to be able to find the humor in any situation. My son was fortunate to have great teachers and Doctors that helped him along the way. I could never have done it all on my own. Through trail and error my son and I learned what worked best for both of us. He worked really hard to control his behaviors and by the time he was in the 7th. grade he no longer had to take medication. Your story about your son resonated with me because my son would want to get out of his seat to help the other kids with their lessons. However, he was a distraction more than helpful. The teacher was great about it. She would guide him back to his seat several times a day. Not once losing her patience or embarrassing him in the classroom. He’s nearly 42 and still speaks kindly of her.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Barb Knowles says:

        My grandson has inherited this trait and has not been lucky with teachers. He is in 6th grade now and it seems a little better for him. I’m trying to get him to at least tolerate reading. Wish me luck! It will open up a world for him. I liked your facebook page but can’t find the store. I’m tired tonight and can’t go searching, but send me the link to the store. Like a link I can click on, lol. Your items look right up my alley.

        Liked by 1 person

      • grannie33 says:

        Fingers, & toes crossed for your grandson! Go to FB and put in GrannieB’sCorner@grannieb57 or GrannieB’s Corner@bhart57.

        Like

      • Barb Knowles says:

        I did, but it just brought me back k to your of. Let me try again tonight.

        Like

      • grannie33 says:

        Oh no, I need to check to see if some thing is not working! 😒

        Liked by 1 person

      • grannie33 says:

        Oops forgot to say, there’s a shop now button and that should take you to the store. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • Barb Knowles says:

        oh okay, lol. I should have read this comment before the other.

        Like

  12. Pingback: https://saneteachers.com/2016/10/23/2-peas-in-an-adhd-pod/ | SuzyWineQ's Review Bar

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s