The Almost Thanksgiving At The In-Laws

It’s a safe bet to say that lots of women have issues with their mother-in law.  Some more so than others.  My mother-in-law, while my ex and I were dating, would *sigh* and talk about his previous girlfriend.  I would smile, and say something pleasant, when I really wanted to scream I GET IT, YOU LIKED HER BETTER THAN ME.

And then I got pregnant.

I wanted this baby so much.  My parents were horrified and my father got out the shotgun.  Metaphorically…..he never actually tried to shoot my ex.  He was furious and disappointed with me.  My mother was trying to adjust to the fact that I was no longer a virgin.  She had specifically told me I had to be one.  My brothers were very upset for me and at me for being an idiot and getting pregnant.

My future mother-in-law thought I was a slut.

 

Kelly's First Day

Kelly’s First Day

Next to her father and me, the one person who is really happy that I had the baby, is the baby herself.  My oldest daughter, Kelly.

So, as I was saying, even prior to the BIG BOMBSHELL, my future mother-in-law didn’t like me.  Maybe it’s more accurate to say that she didn’t like the idea of me.  She wanted her son to stay at home and take care of her and help with her husband, who was in a nursing home by that time.

 

 

A son with a baby on the way and then a wife?  That was not in her picture of the future.

My ex and I married when I was 5 months pregnant.  Our baby was due around Thanksgiving, and this was to be the first holiday that I was spending with my new husband’s family.  My contribution to the meal was that I was in charge of making, and bringing the stuffing.

I’m sure you can guess what happened next.  Kelly also wanted to be around for Thanksgiving, and made her awesome arrival into the world about 45 minutes before midnight on Thanksgiving eve.  Such a glorious gift for me.  A baby safely born.  A Thanksgiving baby.

The next morning, Thanksgiving Day, my mother-in-law came to the hospital to see her new granddaughter.  Her first grandchild.  She stood at the end of my bed and with a completely flat affect just looked at me.  And then said….

“You were supposed to bring the stuffing.”

 

About Barb Knowles

The things that are important to me are family, friends, teaching, writing, languages and using my sense of humor to navigate this crazy world. Please join me on this blogging adventure...
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40 Responses to The Almost Thanksgiving At The In-Laws

  1. Val says:

    Oh a sourpuss is a sourpuss whatever the circumstances, Barb. I’m glad to say that my own M.I.L has always very supportive of me and my efforts (though I don’t have kids, but I think she’d have loved it if I had), but I know the type from past boyfriends’ mothers.The important thing is you had a child who is loved.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      Yes, she was very depressed. We ended up doing well together. She died of cancer, and she had a different perspective. I’m sure I wasn’t blameless. I think she was a very lonely woman. I wish she had lived long enough to get to know Kelly and to meet her other grandchildren. She loved her granddaughter ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Paul says:

    Wow. You should’ve said you brought a dumpling instead. Speaking from experience, it’s awesome being born on (or 45 minutes before) a holiday, especially like Thanksgiving or Labour Day (mine)…the puns are already built into the occasion. I hope you have a lovely thanksgiving this year Barb! Don’t forget the stuffing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      Ha! I won’t give birth, either! Kelly’s birthday is November 21st, so the closest she comes to our Thanksgiving is the day before. My brother was born on the 22nd, so his birthday falls on thanksgiving once every 7 years, I think it is.
      And a dumpling! What a great idea. But I was way to groggy to come up with an answer. I imagine my face said it all.
      I love that you were born on Labour Day. If you were born on Labor Day, you would’t be Canadian.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Some mother-in-laws eh? Mine doesn’t like me much, though I never did anything to offend her as far as I know and tried to treat her the same I treated my own Mum.
    She made me promise to look after her son, but other than that never had a good word to say about either of us, cutting us out of her life completely.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lorriedeck says:

    Haha! Oh my….Happy Thanksgiving!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another awesome post. Obviously Thanksgiving was ruined that year by the lack of stuffing. Shame on you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      I thought a grandchild instead was a pretty good replacement. She loved Kelly and was happy to see her at the hospital. But was a lonely woman and that’s just what she said. I was so upset, but looking back it now seems very funny.

      Like

    • Barb Knowles says:

      I just wrote you this whole long thing and then accidentally deleted it. Short version is that she loved Kelly but was a lonely person and nervous around the baby. We ended up getting along okay. At the time it wasn’t funny, but in retrospect it is very funny.

      Like

  6. Your story and mine of the first born is similar in a couple of ways (pregnant before marriage, due around Thanksgiving), but my future mother-in-law laughed when we told her we were expecting, thus we’ve had a good relationship from the get-got. which is a really good thing, since she lives practically around the corner. My first born bypassed Thanksgiving all together and waited nearly 2 weeks to arrive (Dec 3). Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Birthday to your daughter!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. holly2523 says:

    Your story and mine is similar in a couple of ways (pregnant before marriage, due around Thanksgiving), but my mother-in-law-to-be laughed when we told her we were expecting, and my daughter by-passed Thanksgiving all together, waiting almost 2 weeks past due date to arrive. I’m certainly grateful to have a good relationship with my MIL, especially since she lives practically around the corner. As for my mother’s reaction, I’m pretty sure she was in the same predicament in 1942 at age 18, so what could she say? Her first-born, my oldest half-brother, achieved the same premarital parenthood at age 17. At least I waited until age 26. Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Birthday to your daughter!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sheila Moss says:

    My in-laws didn’t like me because I was a different religion. Everyone said not to worry about it as in-laws usually come around about the time the first grandchild comes along. Sure enough…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is a great story! I have a complex relationship with my MIL that used to hurt so much until I learnt to laugh – then one day after about twenty years we just started getting along better though I’m still wary. 👀

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ann Coleman says:

    Oh, I’m sorry to laugh at something so mean and sad, but honestly, your last line made me laugh out loud! I guess what made that possible was the word “ex” because if that sourpuss were still your mother-in-law, that would be unbearable. I hope she found it in her heart to be some sort of grandmother to your daughter. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and happy birthday to your daughter! Personally, I can’t think of a nicer addition to the family Thanksgiving than a brand-new baby!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      I’m glad you laughed! At the time it wasn’t funny, but it certainly is now, and I hoped everyone would see that. I think the funniest part was my mother’s insistence that I was supposed to be a virgin. I was like, Mom, I’M PREGNANT!
      My MIL died a couple of years after Kelly was born. She suffered from depression and was nervous around the baby initially. But we ended up fine, although not close. She died 2 weeks before my second daughter died. So it was an extra horror for my ex.
      I am blessed with my marriage to Tim; we’re going on 18 years. And he has a large family and every single person welcomed me, and my 3 kids with open arms.
      As always, I love our blog “friendship” and hope you have a very nice Thanksgiving.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ann Coleman says:

        I’m glad the two of you came to terms. If she was suffering from depression and her husband was in a nursing home, that could explain a lot. And I’m so sorry about your second daughter, that must have been awful beyond words.
        One of the things I’m thankful for this year is my blog friends too! And you are right up there at the top of the list….

        Like

  11. Yes, Barb, for some folks, there is no Santa Claus (oops wrong holiday) but you get my drift. There are Grinches who also steal turkeys and suck the joy out of everyone who is thankful for everything, even a surprise pregnancy. “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
    The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Well, you delivered the stuffing. The baby had been stuffed inside you.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Barb, here’s hoping that you and the family have a fantastic and Happy Thanksgiving! :O)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. lisakunk says:

    Ooo. I feel ya. It took me a little while to gain favor too. Sounds like you found your happy place eventually. Love the story.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. grannie33 says:

    Some mother – n – laws can be so cruel. My first one certainly was no Peach. Lessons learned gave me a better perspective on one day being a mother n law.
    My youngest granddaughter was born on Nov. 21, she just turned 18, what a Blessing she has been.
    Barb, hope you and your family had a Bountiful, Blessed Thanksgiving. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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