Goldfish Crackers Make Me Feel Old

A lot of things make me feel older.  But almost all of them can be found, or searched for, in the grocery store.

The scary thing is that I’m turning into my parents.  “When I was younger…”  “When my kids were younger…..”

It smacked me in the face when I was shopping this weekend.  It’s important, in my family, to read labels because one of my grandsons has celiac disease.  So anything he eats has to be gluten free.  That’s easy.  A little time-consuming, but easy.

What got to me were the Goldfish crackers.  There must have been 35 types of Goldfish crackers.  Okay, okay I’m exaggerating.  But I just wanted to buy Goldfish crackers.  I had gluten free crackers, now I wanted other snacks.  Goldfish crackers.  Not pretzel flavored Goldfish.  Not rainbow colored.  Not spicy.  Not inferno.  Not sour cream.  Now I’m making up the flavors because I can’t remember all of them….but there were a lot. NO PLAIN ONES.  NO CHEDDAR ONES.  I always bought Goldfish crackers for my kids. It was never an issue.  Ever.

Another shopper stopped next to me and I turned to her and almost said “Where are the fucking regular Goldfish crackers!”  Instead, I said “Oh excuse me” and moved to the side.

Finally, you’ll be happy to know, I found a bag of cheddar ones behind a row of spicy ones. Not plain, but cheddar will do.  But the story doesn’t end here.  Not even close.  My other grandson likes CHEEZ-IT crackers.

Picture taken in my kitchen and bought under duress.

Picture taken in my kitchen and bought under duress.

This should be easy.  There was a space about 3 feet wide and 4 shelves high devoted to CHEEZ-IT crackers.  Phew.  My good mood started to return….until I looked more closely.  It is incomprehensible to me 1) that there are so many flavors of CHEEZ-ITs  and 2) customers would be clammering for all these different flavors.


I really had to search for “original” CHEEZ-ITs, which is the only type I have ever seen him eat and the only type his mother buys.  Or I bought when my kids were little. Or were even available then.  Eventually, I found this box.

Then I wheeled my cart over to the Health and Beauty Aids aisle for a couple of toothbrushes.  There were the kid toothbrushes, so I kept going….and a little farther….and then I was in hair coloring.  So I backed around and went down the aisle again… the kid toothbrushes….and….no adult toothbrushes.

I thought if I see rainbow-pretzel-spicy flavored toothbrushes, I’m going to walk out.  But, alas, there were only Batman, Superman, Princess, SpongeBob, and every other kind of child’s toothbrush.  I actually had to ask the pharmacist where the adult toothbrushes were.  “They’re on the bottom shelf.  Oh.  I’m sorry.  We must be out of them.”

I’m feeling nostalgic for the days of original Goldfish crackers and toothbrushes available for purchase.  Such old thoughts.



About Barb Knowles

The things that are important to me are family, friends, teaching, writing, languages and using my sense of humor to navigate this crazy world. Please join me on this blogging adventure...
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30 Responses to Goldfish Crackers Make Me Feel Old

  1. Okay, I just tried to verify your claim of 35 kinds of goldfish snacks. You’re wrong. On Amazon I found 864 products when I searched for “goldfish snacks.” Admittedly that did return many different flavors, packaging options, lunch boxes, sippee cups, tee-shirts, shoes, toothbrushes, and food for your gold fish, but still far more than 35.

    I was afraid to try a search for CheezIts …

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Paul says:

    I felt this way when I had a box of 48 pencil crayons as a kid. Choosing between poppy red and cherry red was so difficult because all I wanted was just “red”.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. you should have gotten a princess toothbrush to help you feel young again. I absolutely understand your frustration. I have the same problem with Triscuits and chips and so many other things. What really frustrates me is the choices for coffee. I now only buy it at Aldi because it is less expensive and the words regular and decaf are clearly visible. I abhor finding out that I accidentally bought decaf,

    Liked by 2 people

  4. dawnkinster says:

    Years ago…many many years ago I witnessed a Chinese exchange student get questioned by the manager at a Meijer department store about why she was photographing their produce department. Turns out she had never seen such variety and volume of fresh produce. I often think of that when I see walls of cereal and aisles of cookies. We have so many choices we don’t know how spoiled we really are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      Plus it’s about competition. If Doritos has sour cream somethings, then there have to be Goldfish sour cream crackers then cheez-it sour cream things etc etc. Which doesn’t say a lot about us as consumers. Our junk food intake is out of control. And I buy my share of junk food, but have a lot of healthy meals as well. So I guess we should applaud our fortune at having so many wonderful healthy choices, but our capitalism and consumerism are also a little out of control. I’m missing the old days when “original”was the norm, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Bea dM says:

      Well, just last summer I photographed fresh produce from a supermarket in the suburbs of Chicago because to me it was mind-boggling to see the varieties of veggies and salads, plus the packaging, plus the ready made salads, plus…. I totally love the USA, but shouldn’t there be some kind of limit to consumerism? I also had a problem finding good old staple no-frills simple Cheerios from my childhood 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Barb Knowles says:

        That’s a good question. I suppose it goes back to supply and demand.

        Liked by 1 person

      • arwintcher says:

        I read somewhere very recently that in the current economy supply and demand has flipped. It’s not that consumers really demand so many options, it’s that suppliers are introducing more and more variety in an effort to compete in an over-saturated market where in fact nobody really wants all these different products. I think the CEO of IKEA said last year that we have reached “peak stuff”. It’s kind of ominous, really.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Barb Knowles says:

        Wow. That’s really interesting and I never thought about supply and demand that way. I’m a consumer who definitely doesn’t want all these products. Ominous is a good word.


  5. Oh my gosh, yes! I have a kid in 2nd & one in 3rd, and I feel that there are entirely too many options for everything these days — snacks, school supplies, clothes, whatever. Shopping gives me anxiety and I think 95% of it is the overwhelm from having to decide between 500 Cheez-It options. So…I send my husband to the store. Lol. Really, though, I hear you and totally relate to your frustration!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. lorriedeck says:

    I love the toasty cheez-its. No need to search the box for dark ones any more because I can buy a box full of them! Happy day!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Garfield Hug says:

    Lil red dot has goldfish crackers. There is one type under Pepperidge Farm brand. It touts to be the original goldfish crackers. And I love Cheezit crackers ha ha! You are not old but hip!!😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ann Coleman says:

    You and me both…. I neither need nor want so much variety in my junk food. Which makes me long for “the good old days,” which makes me realize that I am slowly turning into my mother. The horror……

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barb Knowles says:

      Absolutely! And just a minute ago I was texting with a friend..we were in a photo together and both thought omg we’ve gained weight. And I thought here I am missing the days of “original” junk food when I can do without any!


  9. You know what I haven’t seen for a long time that I REALLY miss… those Swiss cheese crackers. I can’t remember the name now, but they were shaped like little Swiss cheese slices. (I know they can’t be found here in Romania, but I haven’t seen them in the states for years either.)

    After reading your post, I wonder if they disappeared, or if they’re just lost in all the distracting clutter. Maybe I’m just getting too old…

    Liked by 1 person

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