A lot of things make me feel older. But almost all of them can be found, or searched for, in the grocery store.
The scary thing is that I’m turning into my parents. “When I was younger…” “When my kids were younger…..”
It smacked me in the face when I was shopping this weekend. It’s important, in my family, to read labels because one of my grandsons has celiac disease. So anything he eats has to be gluten free. That’s easy. A little time-consuming, but easy.
What got to me were the Goldfish crackers. There must have been 35 types of Goldfish crackers. Okay, okay I’m exaggerating. But I just wanted to buy Goldfish crackers. I had gluten free crackers, now I wanted other snacks. Goldfish crackers. Not pretzel flavored Goldfish. Not rainbow colored. Not spicy. Not inferno. Not sour cream. Now I’m making up the flavors because I can’t remember all of them….but there were a lot. NO PLAIN ONES. NO CHEDDAR ONES. I always bought Goldfish crackers for my kids. It was never an issue. Ever.
Another shopper stopped next to me and I turned to her and almost said “Where are the fucking regular Goldfish crackers!” Instead, I said “Oh excuse me” and moved to the side.
Finally, you’ll be happy to know, I found a bag of cheddar ones behind a row of spicy ones. Not plain, but cheddar will do. But the story doesn’t end here. Not even close. My other grandson likes CHEEZ-IT crackers.
This should be easy. There was a space about 3 feet wide and 4 shelves high devoted to CHEEZ-IT crackers. Phew. My good mood started to return….until I looked more closely. It is incomprehensible to me 1) that there are so many flavors of CHEEZ-ITs and 2) customers would be clammering for all these different flavors.
IF YOU WANT PRETZEL FLAVORED CRACKERS BUY PRETZELS!
I really had to search for “original” CHEEZ-ITs, which is the only type I have ever seen him eat and the only type his mother buys. Or I bought when my kids were little. Or were even available then. Eventually, I found this box.
Then I wheeled my cart over to the Health and Beauty Aids aisle for a couple of toothbrushes. There were the kid toothbrushes, so I kept going….and a little farther….and then I was in hair coloring. So I backed around and went down the aisle again…..to the kid toothbrushes….and….no adult toothbrushes.
I thought if I see rainbow-pretzel-spicy flavored toothbrushes, I’m going to walk out. But, alas, there were only Batman, Superman, Princess, SpongeBob, and every other kind of child’s toothbrush. I actually had to ask the pharmacist where the adult toothbrushes were. “They’re on the bottom shelf. Oh. I’m sorry. We must be out of them.”
I’m feeling nostalgic for the days of original Goldfish crackers and toothbrushes available for purchase. Such old thoughts.