Sometimes, when I’m driving my husband crazy, I think the world is divided into two halves. Those who have ADHD and those who live with those wild, crazy and fun-loving people who don’t. You can tell which half I belong to.
It can be so frustrating to be on either side of this equation. It feels liberating to me to leave for work and get in my car and go wherever I’m intending to go and actually have everything I need with me. I don’t even mind going back inside once for my keys. I’ll roll my eyes when going back again for my phone. I’m furious at myself when I have to make my third trip back for my travel mug of coffee. Then I’m disgusted with myself when I’m at work and realize my lunch bag is on the kitchen table at home.
So imagine how my husband feels? Actually, I can’t. It was probably cute on our first couple of dates. And an eccentricity which wasn’t a big deal until we lived together. I bet he can count on one hand the number of times he has had to go back into the house because he has forgotten something. His ability to get everything together in one shot is rather annoying, actually.
By the way, I’m just referring to walking to the car, getting in it, turning it on (if I haven’t left the keys inside) and then realizing something that I need, like my phone/bag/lunch bag/coffee/work papers/gloves/brain are still inside.
On my commute, I have a traffic light that I use as my last opportunity to turn around and return to the house to get something I left. Literally the point of no return.
My husband frequently tells me to make a list. Like I would remember to:
- Make the list
- Read the list
- Remember the list
Right now I am visualizing the ADD/ADHD readers nodding their heads and saying Yesssss! And the family members of the ADD/ADHD wonderful people, sighing and thinking how even reading this is putting them in a bad mood.
Oh I’m assuming that everyone knows that ADD is attention deficit disorder and ADHD is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I think I’m in the first category. I can sit still for 45 minutes to an hour. While mentally going through everything I’ve forgotten.
I’m getting a little better. Forget my iPhone, though. I rarely remember to put anything in the calendar on the phone. Unless it’s something that repeats daily. Like my noon prayer. But even with the home calendar, it’s a challenge to remember walking from one room to the next what I want to jot down on the kitchen calendar.
I never did remember what I was supposed to do a couple of weeks ago on the 11th. But I haven’t received any phone calls so I guess I’m in the clear.
One of my colleagues is now raising his hand “My turn, my turn.” He will recount that every single period that we teach together, almost every single day, before I leave the room he says :
Colleague: Do you have your keys? Do you have your bag? Do you have your coffee? Do you have your phone?
Me: Ooooooh….thanks!
To all family members, friends and colleagues of ADD/ADHD people, thank you for your patience. Or for however much patience you are able to summon.
We don’t do it on purpose.
saneteachers 
Nice of you to speak out. I’m sure the act of acknowledging it goes a long way toward making it easier for your husband.
I’m one of those people who has everything ready the first time around. Well … I used to be. Now I seem to be forgetting at least one of the needed items. And I have nothing to blame but my aging brain. 😄
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Oh yeah, let’s not bring age into this discussion!
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The world might be divided into the two halves you mentioned, but since opposite attract, it seems like you and your husband fills the gaps for each other.
I’ve been watching to many episode of The Bachelorette, sorry.
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If you ever mention that show and my relationship in the same comment again…..
But you’re right, we are total opposites. ❤
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I tend to be the “has everything ready” type, but every now and again I do forget something, and it makes me furious when I do. On the other hand, the people I know who forget stuff a lot tend to also be more relaxed, and as such, more fun to be around.
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Well, I’m a little biased, but I think I’m fun, lol. I’m usually completely stressing over stuff I’ve forgotten.
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Oh Snap..2 and 3 is where I went wrong.
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I was pretty impressed that I typed all three. Actually 1a. should read Remember to make the list.
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You are so funny! But you know, I’m pretty sure I don’t actually have ADD, but I can relate to so much of what you have written. I tend to concentrate heavily on ONE thing at a time, which means that all other things are completely (if temporarily) out of my mind. So when I’m heading out the door, I’m just thinking about where I’m going, not all the stuff I’m supposed to take with me. Which is why I make all those return trips you talk about, and even then so often forget one or two items! Hang in there, Barb…it’s just the way you are!
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It’s a good trait as a teacher. I know EXACTLY
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oops hit send by mistake, I know exactly what is happening in my classroom at all times.
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See? There is always an upside!!
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ha!
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You should make a a story that’s easy to remember.
“Do you have your keys? Do you have your bag? Do you have your coffee? Do you have your phone?”
I’m walking to my car and put the keys in the ignition to drive. While I’m driving I grab my phone from my bag to make a call at work.
If you can’t visualize it it’s even better. Also diet can help with this.
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-diet-nutrition-sugar/
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Thank you for your comment!
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You nailed it! I am married to one like you….LOL I am sitting here in stitches! Thanks for sharing from your end.
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What an awesome reaction…thank you! What are we talking about?
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Haha same here! My husband is so used to me forgetting something that he would remind me about my phone before he/I even open the door to go out. Not to mention that he subconsciously remembers where I place my phone, so he knows where it is when he sees me walking around the house looking for my phone. I like to think that we are different, so that we help each other with what we are good at. 😉
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Ha! Opposites definitely attract.
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This is perfect. I relate to what you said about the list so much. And yes, bless those individuals in our life who are so patient with us!
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Even though it is very annoying that they are always focused haha.
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